I am A-Rod

Based on the astonishing success of my McSweeney's piece, I've been approached by www.newsgroper.com to pen a parody blog for their website. They asked me who I'd like to write, and I immediately thought of A-Rod.

You can read the blog here: http://www.newsgroper.com/alex-rodriguez/

My first entry was the 8/17 one, titled "A terrible, horrible, no good, very bad day." That was not my title. The content is mine, though. There should be a new entry up soon.

Anything below the 8/17 entry was written by the guy before me. Those missives portray an arrogant, crass A-Rod, which I find to be a predictable choice with predictable results. Hopefully they get deleted soon, but apparently it would be stepping on toes, or something, and I have to just post until they're off the front page. Still, their presence rankles, so read them with a ready scoff on your lips.

My own entries tell of A-Rod's adventures at a grocery store, and a mano-a-mano duel with Mike Mussina.

Anyway, the site is more or less boffo, so after you've read and admired my A-Rod entries, be sure to check out whatever else they're offering. I don't say this out of any vested interest in the website; as per usual, I am not being paid for my formidable talent. Their possible failure does not concern me. My purported appreciation of the format is forthright.

I imagine it's only a limited time until the A-Rod blog is being universally lauded by everyone who has ever loved sport.

Meanwhile, the Yankees are in the process of humiliating themselves in Anaheim. Their unbelievable incompetence against a team they may face in the playoffs five weeks hence is beyond worrisome. Another first-round exit seems entirely probable. In other sporting news, Duke University basketball is saddled with talentless whites, Notre Dame football is unranked, the Giants are poised for another .500 season as their feckless quarterback whines to the media, the Knicks are doomed to at least fifteen years of mediocrity, and my new one-handed backhand is a disaster. It is not a good time to be a sports fan.*

*Unless you like other teams than the ones I like.

Goodbye.