Chilly walk home

Today am I endorsing a product.

The product: Vaseline Intensive Care Aloe Cool & Fresh Body Lotion.

The story: Yesterday, while attending the US Open (my first professional tennis event), I neglected to cover the thigh area above my knees with any kind of sunblock. The result was a vicious burn. But this morning, in search of relief, I purchased the aforementioned lotion. Even before application, I was reassured by the non-threatening sea green of the bottle and the assertive dark blue of the cap. I had a feeling I could trust the firm yet gentle image implied by such a well-wrought chromatic combination. In the handicapped bathroom at work, I applied the cream to the affected areas, and the sensation brought to mind the loving ministrations of a Geisha covering a samurai's war wounds with ameliorative cucumbers. Minutes later, the throbbing red pain had all but vanished in vast, glistening pools of aloe, and I moved about the office with strides both confident and unhindered, earning admiration from my peers.

The Open was a blast. Roger Federer is one of the more graceful humans alive. He could dance with Apollo and reduce that quintessential heliophile to clumsy, supplicating tears.

Fall is almost upon us, which means the advent of college football season. Continuing last entry's theme of apropos nomens, I bring you LSU wide receiver "Early Doucet." Upon his christening, could fate have hidden, in its folds and nooks, any profession excepting star athlete for the crying babe?

I think not.

Finally, would you wish to wait in the backfield, mandated by shouted numbers to receive a hand-off and dash boldly through the guard-tackle hole, when across the line, in the linebacker position, crouches a man named Xavier Adibi?

I think not, redux.

QED.