Tuesday, May 29, 2007

Musings on Harry Potter

I was speaking with my ex-girlfriend on The Google Chat, and she mentioned that her chief desire at the moment was to curl up on her couch with Harry Potter.

Being a waggish devil from way back, I asked whether she meant the book or the man himself. She said both.

This brought to mind a scenario where a girl lays on her couch, reading, with Harry Potter sitting on the floor watching his television programs.

"What're you reading?" Harry asks absent-mindedly.

"Ummm..." replies the girl.



This situation is awkward at best, and I was sorry I ever posed the jocular question.



TODAY'S LESSON: Mind your jokes, young man!

Wednesday, May 2, 2007

When Parodies are Lamer than the Original

This happens on occasion.

Example:

Those Inspiration/Motivation/Whatever posters with a positive word, a nature picture, and a caption.

These are pretty lame. You can find them in a dentist's office or on the living room walls of well-meaning middle-aged mothers. However, the parodies, with titles like Indifference, Stupidity, or Laziness, are lamer. They are not funny, and what's the story...are they meant to shock dentists or moms? Are they meant to signal rebellion against the establishment? It doesn't work- even if moms or dentists are authority, they're too kindly.


Example:

The periodic table of elements.

This is extremely useful as a scientific guide, make no mistake. The periodic table of drinking elements, which some may argue is not a parody at all, is nonetheless a lame college thing to hang. I never walked into any dorms and saw an actual periodic table adorning the wall, but if I did, I'd be impressed.


Example:

Jeopardy.

This is a tough call. The SNL parodies are pretty funny, but in the end, Jeopardy is just a sweet quiz show that provides hours of enjoyment (aggregate). The parody is lamer.


Example:

Paris Hilton

I've seen a million Paris Hilton parodies, but none of them are ever funny. They are the only things in the world lamer than Paris Hilton, except possibly Paris Hilton look-alikes. Also, Paris Hilton parodies never made a pretty good sex tape.


Example:

Life

While the magazine and the board game are semi-interesting, they cannot compare to the original cereal, or its cinnamon offshoot.


Example:

Bohemian Rhapsody

Gershwin's "Rhapsody in Blue" doesn't even sound like the awesome Queen song, and is a pretty lame parody.